The La De Da

Its been a while hasn't it?  Sometimes its good to get thoughts down, I just wish I made more time for it.  I do this while at work and try not to take too long.  Perhaps I do need to put more time when I do these posts.  Then again, I'm not really here to impress anyone or anything, I just try to get my thoughts in order and hopefully get rid of this scared feeling I always get when I have to go do adult stuff.  Take my job for example.  I have around three assignments I need to get done today.  I wrote them down on a post it.  I need to make phone call and try my best to get things done. It give me anxiety for some reason though.  I don't know if i'm scared that I'll fail, or what.  These things need to be done.  But I'm scared to do them.  I feel like a child that was told by their parent to clean up my room and i'm too stubborn to do it.  I wish things were as simple as cleaning up my room again.  I get feelings like this all the time.  Most likely why I think i'm still a child.  Never really going to grow up,  just be a kid trying to do adult things.  When I make a phone call (which will be in a few minutes), I hope i sound confident and that I know what i'm talking about.  Not a kid that is stuttering over his words, praying they know what the hell i'm talking about.  I think too much.  I think i'll write again this afternoon.  Perhaps I'll have more meaning then.    One can only hope.

Thanks for listening.  

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